Ray- thank you so much for clarifying. I completely read your first post wrong and that is why I answered the way I did. It seems to me that whether your real issue is ASD or socially you have troubles, that issue is getting fuel from the fire of your parents who are unsupportive of you emotionally.
I have to tell you that I went through a few years of having completely unsupportive parents and I suffered terribly. My mother would make the same snarky remarks your mom does about the way I dress and how I looked awful and no one would ever want to date me. It seems as though you are getting hit much worse and this has been going on for you since you were four. I know I am not going through what you are but I want you to know I understand you and your feelings. And I hope that means something to you, because you are so craving for your parents to. I really understand you.
I am happy you are speaking to someone about this. Ray, you sound like a mature, smart, growth filled, fun girl who just wants some peace of mind. I think whether you hahe undiagnosed ASD or not is not really the forefront issue. ASD is just a title. It comes with a stigma and you have been linking yourself to that stigma your whole life. If you have ASD clearly you are mostly in control of your life, don’t let the rest of the stigmas eat away at you.
As for your parents, I am so sorry this nisayon seems so bleak for you. I think you should try to trust the person you go to speak with otherwise get a new one. Or speak with a rav, mentor, teacher etc. try your best to allow yourself to open up about what is happening with your parents. It is not right and must be addressed.
I’m davening for you ray!!!