Aries – Being that you’re a woman, you seem to take a defensive stand. I’m talking from pure logic. While it’s true such a possibility does exsist, I don’t think that this floats through the mind of the avg. frum Kallah. I think, as opposed to the current trend of thinking, that the girl is less mature and ill-adapted for marriage. I think by the time a boy is dating, he has usually seen life in different places and with different people. I personally changed yeshivos quite a few times. The girl on the other hand has probably lived at home during her high school years and perhaps lived out of town or in EY for one year.
This is not enough to be accustomed to change and right before they are getting married- this fear of permanent change sets in. Maybe it’s time to re-evaluate the age that girls in the frum community are getting married. I’m not talking because of age gaps or because of the shidduchim “crisis”; I’m talking that the girls nowadays are ill prepared for marriage. This I believe is because the girls nowadays are not maturing as fast as they did 25 -30 years ago. So they need more time to grow up before they are ready for marriage. But the frum community will laugh this off
– A. because you have to keep up with Joneses, & B. because they are in denial and refuse to re-think and challenge this conception of girls being more mature than boys!