simcha613: Your assessment is accurate. I would add another issue as well. While I do want Chareidim and Datiim both to have control of the religious needs of the Country, I have a problem with the way the Chareidim go about it.
The overbearing approach, that has nothing to do with Halacha is a big problem that turns people away as opposed to drawing them near to Torah. The administration nightmare that a Chiloni has to get married, without their having a Halachic barrier, is unnecessary. It’s just a control thing. Many opt to go to Europe for a civil ceremony, which creates many other Halachic problems. They wouldn’t do that if the Rabbinite was decentralized enough for someone to go to an approved, more local, Orthodox Rabbi for marry them.
I think their rational is two-fold. One is the fear that if they loosen their grip even the slightest, it would be a slippery slope away from Halacha. This I can understand. Unfortunately, the bigger issue is the control and power that goes with it.
When it comes to issues involving Halacha where there is no viable compromise, the opportunity exists to educate and inform the masses in a proper way that most will understand and except. A sledge-hammer approach, which is often the first way, should be the last option.
Most Chilonim, other than the hard-core Leftists, want anything to do with religion to be authentic. Those people can be educated and would understand the rational for things, if they are explained properly.
Chareidi political leaders mostly don’t have tact or basic diplomacy skills and just alienate people. That is one of the reasons for Lapid’s rapid rise, since the average secular Israeli is disgusted with the constant demands for more and more, while at the same time, the unwillingness to do anything to contribute to the general society (as they see it).
I hear that more then a few Chareidim voted for Lapid, because they themselves want change but fear the backlash from within. That’s sad, that people can’t discuss issues open and honestly about what their needs are.