Many years later…
Randomex is now the Chief Curator of the Library of Congress. Eftachbechinor decides to take her class on a field trip to visit him in his natural habitat. As the bus arrives at the school, and the bus driver steps down, a collective gasp is heard from the assembled students. The bus driver is indeed a sight to behold. He is wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and “his face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy
mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard”. In his hand he is holding the largest tankard anyone has ever seen. “I’m Popa Bar Abba, and this is Sally, my seventh Bus. She has semicha.” Eftach quickly hustles the kids aboard. The bus ride is rather long, and the kids are getting restless. In the back row, sirvoddmort and yekke2 are vociferously debating the advantages of a faster broom vs. a more maneuverable broom, until they realize that it’s an exercise in futility since the existence of the snitch is a vitiation of the entire sport of Quidditch. What with all the noise, Shopping613 is having trouble concentrating on the chapter she is writing, and also doesn’t realize that SayIdidIt is reading over her shoulder and putting the story on twitter before Shopping has a chance to even finish it.
But eventually, the bus reaches its destination, and the class egresses. Popa walks up and down the bus collecting DNA left behind, for some nefarious plan of his.
And then it happens. Randomex is sighted. Cozimjewish immediately breaks free of the group, and runs toward him. Randomex bellows “I am Randomex, the Great and Powerful, who are you?” To which Cozimjewish responds “I am Cozimjewish, small and meek. Can I have your autograph?”
Randomex chuckles to himself and then says, “If you want my autograph you have to earn it.” He then proceeds to regale the class with stories of his heroic escapades against his arch-nemesis Patur Aval Assur. “But alas,” he continues “PAA has not been completely defeated yet. His last known whereabouts are somewhere in the middle east, where he went to try to find someone who talks in Aramaic. If you can best him, then I will gladly give you my autograph.”
Lamud Vov Tzadik pipes up and says “If she bests PAA, she should be giving you her autograph.” Randomex turns away and walks off.
Cozimjewish sets out on the mission to defeat PAA. When she is nearly there, she bumps into Writersoul who decides to come along for the climactic event. When they arrive, PAA says “???? ??(?) ???????”. While Cozimjewish fires off a text to Randomex to figure out what she is supposed to answer, PAA asks “Cognitive Man vs. Homo Religiosis – who would win?” Writersoul immediately responds “Well you see, it’s really just a dialectical tension – you have your thesis, antithesis, and then synthesis, so the question never really starts.” PAA responds that in the original Hebrew it wouldn’t actually make sense, so they agree to disagree, and PAA agrees to appear before Randomex.
“That was all 22 years ago”, Oomis concludes the tale to her grandchildren. “And PAA and Randomex haven’t moved since then; they are arguing about something or another and still going strong.”
THE END