Creative writing – CR users in real life!

You write a story first then I”ll write one.

Ahem…

DaasYochid:

You were the most in-character.

You were the most in-character.

I was about to get insulted, but when I realized how bad your portrayal of the other CR members was, I realized that calling my portrayal the most in-character wasn’t saying much.

What would it look like if all the CR members did an exam together??? My guess is a little bit like this……

The exam will be over in just fifteen minutes,

According to the clock on the wall…..

Since mod-73 is known to be strict,

Everyone is giving it their all.

Letakein Girl is nervously biting her nails

Making sure she answered EVERY question,

SayIDidIt is trying to keep her nerves down

By whispering helpful suggestions

Shopping is writing creative answers

Certain to entertain 🙂

I am staring at the desk beside mine

Wondering if I am sane:

I mean, sitting there taking a test:

Is that a FROG I see?!

(Well at any rate he seems to know what he’s doing.

Which is more than I can say for me….)

Haifagirl is super frustrated

Coz the questions are all written poorly,

Who allowed the tests through this way?!

They should have been deleted, surely??

Randomex has included a list of references

For every single quote.

(Yeah, good luck trying to understand

Every second word she wrote…. ;P)

Eftach is analyzing every question

Looking for a deeper meaning in each one

Popa isn’t answering any.

(But the people around him are sure having fun)

PAA’s answers are all Aramaic

Not an English word in sight.

(He knows the mod will just be like, “Umm….uh-huh”

And mark all his answers right….)

etc.etc.etc.etc…..

“YAY! Now that was worth creating this thread for!”

Wow that’s what I call a compliment! Thanks 😀

“Were you using

any specific works for inspiration?”

Yep, all the posts on the CR 😉 other than that, just my brain 🙂

Yes I know, and I realized that could be misunderstood. I meant that he was reassuring Letakein Girl (who PLEASE, have mercy on me, and tell me is a she…..!!!!!!) I wrote that coz of another thread, think it had something to do with the Shab. Project (no I don’t remember the URL off the top of my head like you!!! And cbb checking!! But in any case I am certain you know exactly what I am referring to!!)

“He also has me dancing, which I’m sure I’ve never mentioned on the CR”

I think that was in reference to your love of music

“Can you post a (sigh, I certainly justify that one)

short list of incomprehensible things I’ve written?”

Maybe another time when I am bored, hello, I don’t analyze EVERY post!!! You’re amazing you remember everything!! But I don’t, so posting a list would mean I’d havta go to your profile, read through user activity, look at everything you posted, then take out the ones I didn’t understand……

But maybe another time, although I’m sure someone else would do it for you in the meantime:) thanx for the cheer (again!)

P.S. I’m pretty sure PAA listed one on his report card thread, if you get what I mean (I’m sure you do 🙂 )

“He knows the mod will just be like, “Umm….uh-huh”

And mark all his answers right….”

Until Randomex comes along and translates them and then everyone realizes that Patur Aval Assur is a charlatan, merely spewing Aramaic quotes that have no relevance to anything, but give the impression of being somewhat learned.

Randomex:

Since I am not allowed to argue with you, I will re-post my story with citations showing what most of the material is based on:

Randomex walks into a bar.

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536580

He wants to steal less than a ??? ????? of beer. So he asks the guy next to him if it’s muttar. The guy responds in the affirmative. As Randomex reaches over to perform the act of thievery the Bartender shouts “you can’t rely on him (the guy that Randomex had asked) – he’s just DaasYochid.

As this is all happening PAA shows up. Randomex, who is now confused, says out loud “so what’s the halacha?” at the same time as DaasYochid confrontationally asks the newcomer “who are you?” The newcomer, ever the pragmatist, says “Patur Aval Assur”, thus answering both questions in one fell swoop.

DaasYochid says “you aren’t reliable either because you don’t learn iyun”.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/your-coffee-room-report-card-comments/page/2#post-534229

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/your-coffee-room-report-card-comments/page/2#post-535014

PAA replies “I think we’ve been through this several times already”.

see previous

By now a whole crowd is gathered around waiting for someone to throw the first counterpunch.

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536586

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536590

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536600

So no one notices Popa Bar Abba sneaking behind the counter and drinking the place clean.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/drunk-na-a-blazingf-skingk (but one of many examples)

To diffuse the tension, someone says “anyone have a joke?”

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536580

Popa, in his drunken stupor, says “I have a joke. Three retards walk into a bar…”

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/everybody-except-popa-is-retarded

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/popa-is-retarded-by-popa

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/if-you-think-the-r-word-is-offensive-you-are-retarded

???? ????

Before he can finish, the assembled mob attacks as one and hangs Popa by his ankles from the ceiling.

DaMoshe is called in to sing through the entire High Holy Days liturgy

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/yomim-noraim-davening

while Popa is forced to listen.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/rosh-hashana-davening-in-bp

Meanwhile Randomex is feeling rather slighted. “Why is Popa always the center of attention?” he asks.

So in order to garner some attention for himself, Randomex goes on a crusade against people who continue threads from the ancient past.

pretty much every thread

In reality this is a cover for Randomex who spends all his waking hours reading threads that predate him.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/name-that-tune/page/9#post-537613

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/name-that-tune/page/9#post-537688

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/name-that-tune/page/10#post-537724

As the crowd starts to disperse, DaasYochid points out that any gathering at which the Shidduch Catastrophe is not discussed is a Moshav Leitzim.

No one particular source, but based on the impression given by the aggregate of his shidduch-crisis-related comments

At this point Popa breaks free and responds that there is no shidduch catastrophe

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/jaccuse-nasi

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/why-r-rechnitz-is-incorrect

because he is already married to every single girl.

http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/michlalah-personal-statement but one of the many discussions of Popa’s multiple wives

By now, everyone has already had enough, and the Moderator, seeing that things are about to get out of hand, presses “edit”

I don’t think I need a source for this one

and this whole story becomes “Why did PAA and Randomex cross the road?”

http://theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/good-jokes/page/33#post-536601

I think I have also shown that your question on my use of “counterpunch” is really a question on you for not getting the reference.

Everyone is standing outside the UN when a reporter walks up and says, “What’s the oilam’s opinion on the current meat shortage in America?”

One clique, led by Yekke 2, is like “What’s our opinion? Huh???”

Pixelate says it indicates Moshiach’s imminent arrival, and PAA hands the reporter huge piles of sources, with all the merits and arguments of Pixelate’s theory.

I try flashing my PhD badge to the reporter, but I’m drowned out by Lord Voldemort (Duke V)’s loud proclomations that the shortage actually started in England, and the shortage in America is nothing compared to what it is in England.

Sidi says this is a dumb question. And tons of people point out that it’s not even current, and the reporter just decided to bump an old issue. So I take out the dictionary and check up, “current”

Health says it’s better this way, because…need I finish the sentence? Oh, and it will keep mad cows out of the USA.

PBA and CharlieHall debate if it’s really a shortage and what the statistics suggest.

Randomex has been making several attempts to voice his opinion, in as many fonts possible in the verbal language, but mods have their hands over his mouth. Finally he breaks free and says something, I don’t know what, and I don’t think CIJ knows what either, but she LOLs anyway. (Okay, I’ll admit, it did sound funny.)

Eftach just stands there, smiling. It’s all too predictable.

Suddenly, over the din, the reporter shuffles his papers and says, “wait a second I forgot…this connects to this week’s parsha, because that’s when animal consumption became permitted for mankind.” And, just like that, the question takes on a whole new meaning.

“PAA, 5 thumbs up.”

For the story, or for the citations?

Just to clarify, you know I wrote the story about a month and a half ago, right?

Go back to the first post in this thread and click on the word “this” which is a link to the original story (and you can see the context in which it arose).

Good thing I clarified.

“I’m SHOCKED PAA that I was not included? C’mon? Seriosuly?”

I apologize, but at the time when I wrote it, it was in a specific context and all the characters in the story were my interlocutors, (except for Damoshe, who I only brought in because it related to Popa) and as far as I know I have not yet merited to argue with you about anything. The story was actually just supposed to be about Randomex and me, and DaasYochid was the one whose idea it was and I couldn’t resist the opportunity to make Popa the bad guy.

Oooh YAY!!!!!!!

Now I have what to write about when I’m bored next english class…

But I’m outta the loop of jokes and stuff so, I think I’ll stick to serials and making people laugh…

Shopping – Nooooooo!! I mean. please “stick to your serial and making people laugh”, but also write about the old timers and our old jokes and post it right here 😉 C’mon, take us on a trip down memory lane. Looking forward 😛

PAA – that was HYSTERICAL!!!!!! (YES I GOT THE JOKES I AM NOT THAT SLOW)

Only 5 thumbs up?!?!?!

cozimjewish:

I think you’re getting closer to ????????? ?????? ???? with all these praises.

“I await the day when you admit that it goes both ways… :)”

There’s a difference. You are the self-appointed Indexer Extraordinaire Par Excellence.

PAA- I just read your story (without clicking on the links) and this thread. My mouth is hanging open. Like this: 0.

Many years later…

Randomex is now the Chief Curator of the Library of Congress. Eftachbechinor decides to take her class on a field trip to visit him in his natural habitat. As the bus arrives at the school, and the bus driver steps down, a collective gasp is heard from the assembled students. The bus driver is indeed a sight to behold. He is wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and “his face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy

mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard”. In his hand he is holding the largest tankard anyone has ever seen. “I’m Popa Bar Abba, and this is Sally, my seventh Bus. She has semicha.” Eftach quickly hustles the kids aboard. The bus ride is rather long, and the kids are getting restless. In the back row, sirvoddmort and yekke2 are vociferously debating the advantages of a faster broom vs. a more maneuverable broom, until they realize that it’s an exercise in futility since the existence of the snitch is a vitiation of the entire sport of Quidditch. What with all the noise, Shopping613 is having trouble concentrating on the chapter she is writing, and also doesn’t realize that SayIdidIt is reading over her shoulder and putting the story on twitter before Shopping has a chance to even finish it.

But eventually, the bus reaches its destination, and the class egresses. Popa walks up and down the bus collecting DNA left behind, for some nefarious plan of his.

And then it happens. Randomex is sighted. Cozimjewish immediately breaks free of the group, and runs toward him. Randomex bellows “I am Randomex, the Great and Powerful, who are you?” To which Cozimjewish responds “I am Cozimjewish, small and meek. Can I have your autograph?”

Randomex chuckles to himself and then says, “If you want my autograph you have to earn it.” He then proceeds to regale the class with stories of his heroic escapades against his arch-nemesis Patur Aval Assur. “But alas,” he continues “PAA has not been completely defeated yet. His last known whereabouts are somewhere in the middle east, where he went to try to find someone who talks in Aramaic. If you can best him, then I will gladly give you my autograph.”

Lamud Vov Tzadik pipes up and says “If she bests PAA, she should be giving you her autograph.” Randomex turns away and walks off.

Cozimjewish sets out on the mission to defeat PAA. When she is nearly there, she bumps into Writersoul who decides to come along for the climactic event. When they arrive, PAA says “???? ??(?) ???????”. While Cozimjewish fires off a text to Randomex to figure out what she is supposed to answer, PAA asks “Cognitive Man vs. Homo Religiosis – who would win?” Writersoul immediately responds “Well you see, it’s really just a dialectical tension – you have your thesis, antithesis, and then synthesis, so the question never really starts.” PAA responds that in the original Hebrew it wouldn’t actually make sense, so they agree to disagree, and PAA agrees to appear before Randomex.

“That was all 22 years ago”, Oomis concludes the tale to her grandchildren. “And PAA and Randomex haven’t moved since then; they are arguing about something or another and still going strong.”

THE END

I’m not really on top of all the old posts but am finding this thread hilarious! Some people apparently DO spend their lives in the CR!

PAA- I’m roaring!!!!! You’re NUTS.

Randomex:

I didn’t get the first half of http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/creative-writing-cr-users-in-real-life#post-541107

In The context which I borrowed it from, Rashi translates it as “????” which would be some type of bench. And in that context, I don’t think it was said antagonistically. See Kiddushin 70a.

Lol, cuzimjewish, that’s a great attitude!

😉