chulentmoma613
Im not sure I follow, but I think I understand
“Does a person always choose a hat? Is it a choice if society forces it upon him?”
In this case yes to both, the person “chooses” to comply so that his kids get in the “right” schools right shiduchim etc. (We arent talking about “everything in life” just hats)
At any rate your question was about not wearing a black hat. I have never met anyone who wanted to wear one but felt pressured not to based on the above reasons (incidentally this speaks volumes about the tolerance of different communities compared ot each other.
Are you aware of a person who does not wear a hat involuntarily? THAT is what you were discussing in the op. I’d love to explain this to you further, but just want to make sure we are discussing the same thing