it’s hard to know for sure.
she called me one day and after a bit of schmoozing delivered a threatening message from someone that she knew i had no interest in engaging with (we do a lot of community work together with people with very complex situations). I asked her why she would pass such a message, why she would call on the premise of friendship with such a message, why she would deliver such a message knowing the implications (she knew that I now could not avoid confrontation by claiming I never got the message). each remark was met with something to the effect of “yup, kinda crazy” “yes, he can be unreasonable” etc. never seeming to absorb what i was saying to her so clearly (i believe it was very clear).
the next time she saw me was in passing and she said she’d be in touch, to which i responded, “about what, exactly?” She understood what i meant, and that i was still hurt, and hasn’t called me since.
so you have a good question, and the person she was before she become “free of pain and suffering” would have called me back that night to see if there was something she did wrong or something that needed to be rectified. The person she became (long before our interaction) is the one who shrugged sadly and walked away, seemingly hoping that i would learn to accept that all hurt is Hashem’s doing. it says to me that sometimes things get internalized to your outsides instead of your insides.