Akuperma, where did I say I like to spend lots of money on parties and that I needed a lecture on what constitutes a bar mitzvah?
What I did say is bar mitzvas should be as INEXPENSIVE as bas mitzvas. For my daughter, we made a kiddush in shul and a small party the next day for relatives and her classmates. And, before you ask, I don’t have sons but my grandson’s bar mitzvah seudah was in a shul with fewer than 100 guests. There is no reason to spend enormous amounts of money.