squeak – a COMPLIMENT? wow. no further comments necessary.
thanks, abcd, but i’m not that good. and what you said about fake relationship is right. that’s why it’s pointless to pretend.
and yeh i know my heart is ok. it’s my mind that’s screwed up 😉
ames, you mean you’re gonna take away the last thing that i have that’s still 100% frum? ok go ahead. Mo, it is. (by the way – there’s definitely no tzaddik with long payos at this end…)
first of all, 1 and 2 are really connected. what i meant was, WHEN I HAVE A CHOICE i don’t do things that i don’t have to. if you held a gun to my head sure i’d be up at the crack of dawn and daven with a minyan in a hat and jacket. but i have a choice. that’s what this world is about. sure when i get a job i’ll pay taxes even if i don’t want to – because i really DO want to stay out of prison. and no i don’t want to do homework. if i was really forced to i would. but no one’s forcing me to do anything so i do what i want.
now isn’t most of a mitzvah that’s bain adom lamokom about the intentions and not the actions? for sure tfilla is. if you handed me a novel and told me to stand up and read it like shmona esray it’s the exact same thing as reading the real thing without meaning it. just saying a bunch of words without any idea what i’m saying. it’s empty and therefore pointless.
you can have a relationship with your kids without providing money for drugs. even if i asked, you think my dad would give me money for drugs? no way! he’d buy me anything in the world, but not something like that. and i do have a pretty good relationship with him. but i understand why he wouldn’t give me cash like that. if anything BECAUSE i have a decent relationship with him i stay far away from talking about drugs. he doesn’t need to know everything that i do.