Why on earth would we be happy you said/feel that way?????
Hashem only gives nisyonos to those that can handle them- that certainly says something AWESOME about you.
I have to echo squeak & commend you for your deep questions.
ames- I agree with oomis. You have a way with words, a passion for yiddishkeit that is truly contagious. I hope you are using this talent outside of the CR. Don’t be shy- it is a rare, incredible and an APRECIATED talent to have. Please utilize it