ICOT I think your assessment is pretty good. I would also add though, that people are very particular to who they take tochacha from. If a stranger gave me tochacha, I wouldnt listen (as they have no idea who I am, where I am coming from, what I am struggling with)…but if I knew a person in category 1 who knew where I was coming from, I still might take tochacha from them because they know the background and might still know if its appropriate for me.
This shabbos we went to the “other” shul in my neighborhood because my cousins made a kiddush. They daven there because its more “frum” (their words not mine). Anyway, I asked my husband if he thought the shul was more frum than ours and this is he what he said:
1) All the men wear jackets (its about 70/30 with jackets in my shul)
2) Half the men showed up after Shemonah Esrei
3) Large groups of people talked non-stop during davening
So, is the shul more “frum”? Issue 2 and 3 are virutally non-existant in my shul (the Rav is very strict on talking in shul) and for the most part people show up on time. I would call my shul more observant even though some people don’t wear jackets because the people who don’t wear them didn’t grow up with wearing jackets to shul and still dress in very nice clothing.