ok fine moish, so it left u feeling empty. so big whoop. there was nothing there, all emptyness and it was a big waste of time.
i can hear that.
except when you come up to shamayim, and they’re nearing the list of all the good things you’ve done, and are about to decree what level you’ll go to, and you are frantic, desperately trying to find something else….and then WOW!!!
you will be ECSTATIC when they find this. your schar, even for doing the mitzvah with no drive, no desire, and a whole lotta emptyness, STILL COUNTS.
so for now, it may not have been worth it. but who cares? we’re not living for now anyway. when u get up there, you’ll be glad you did it.