Part three:
do you worship the big dipper
do you wear crocks on Yom Kipper
are you one of those who think the IDF is Jack the Ripper
are you following the masses
wearing thick round plastic glasses
is it bittul zman to memorize the list of noble gases
are you dressed like a clown
because you come from out of town
where you can’t stop worrying how you’ll afford a wedding gown
would you recognize an A minor
if it was played at a diner
and who has a better voice Benny Friedman or Simcha Leiner
would you walk into Ramallah
if you heard a cry of “Allah”
is it assur or is it mutar to bake a schlissel challah
do you accrue big summer bills
by going up to the Catskills
while your husband’s in the city trying his homemaking skills
would you say chas vechalila
if you were offered gelila
just because you were the youngest person present for tefilla
are there sports that you would play
if your rabbi said it’s okay
do you think a kosher movie is a stira meenay ubay
do you want to pull a trigger
every time you see your shvigger
even though there’s a chance it will only make the problem bigger
do you think it’s all the same
if someone has an English name
or is it something that is goyish and should be a mark of shame
have you learned through hameiniach
do you believe in mashiach
and is it polite to ask if you’re a masis umediach