I hear what you are saying, and while I agree with some of your premise, I don’t really agree with you(such as having “better” things to spend money on. I would bet we have very differing views on that one). What I meant to point out is that it seems to be hitting such a personal cord with you in regarding to the begging that the rest becomes cloudy. I do agree however, that seeing a “magiya li” attitude will spark that level of anger in myself as well.
On the other hand, just to throw this in, I have chosen to send my daughter to a very difficult college program that does not realistically allow her to hold a job and attend. Because of my unwillingness to use a tax loophole, we lose any fafsa opportunities even tho we cannot afford her program. We are using money we don’t have, borrowing, maybe even asking for help to get her thru this. And we need to get her a car (part of the requirements) and pay gas. If I cannot afford this, should I tell her to go find a job instead? If I ask friends for help (tho I never would) would that also be begging? Maybe she shouldn’t be going to college if we cannot afford it. Maybe she should just be happy at a minimum wage job forever and consider herself lucky for even having that.
I consider building a financial future for her to be a priority that I am willing to sacrifice for.
I feel the same way about building her personal future should she find the right one even if I cannot afford it.