You’re missing the point. B”h many of us live in a classless society. We are not, for the most part classified into rich and poor in our neighborhoods and live integrated. Most children don’t go to school with their parents’ bank accounts numbers displayed on their foreheads — I mean clothes. And many of our parents were better off than we are. So because of not really knowing who’s poor (I’ll concede, for the most part we know who’s really wealthy) maintaining the status quo is very much a requirement for the less well off among us to feel like mentchen. That’s why takanos etc. are so helpful although they smack a little of socialism. By bringing everybody’s standards down the klal ends up benefiting — even the rich guys who get less solicitations. That’s not the same as refusing to give or understanding that even when costs are brought down many will still need help.
And when someone comes to my door and asks for Hachnosos Kallah I don’t truly know what it’s going for, but someone collected for health reasons may also be using it for homeopathy which I don’t believe in. Haskomos help, but one still can’t be sure about the details and legitimacy.
When we don’t look too closely at who’s asking we hope that Hashem will provide for us likewise even if we may be undeserving.