DaasYochid – We might be in a similar place:
1: Standards are way too high
2: That being the case, we still need to raise money as not to embarrass a Chasan and Kallah from having the minimum.
3: What the minimum is depends on location, but it is significantly less than what is “standard”.
4: The Minimum is still too high, but that is for a different time, not for the Chasson in front of us.
5: There should be controls in place that if one is taking communal funds, that they not be frivolously going above the minimum without a real need as judged by outsiders (not the families)
6: This (except possibly for Yesomos) does not affect the Halachos of Kedimah, where Pikuach Nefesh, Pidyon Shevoyim, or Yeshivos have priority.
P.S. Have Vorts moved outside the home so that they became a large expense? Almost every vort I attended for family (except on Succos where they needed a larger space), even in Brooklyn were in the girl’s dining & living room.