Shlishi, there are tons of chazal out there that say you have to be hard as a brick regading tochacha and all that, but alas, many mesorahs say otherwise. It’s because we have to take into consideration yeridas hadoros. You aren’t as good as giving tochacha and the other person isn’t as ready to be mekabel tochacha as the generation that the Sefer Hachinuch was published for. If you truly embarass someone in public today you wont get them to listen to you, you’ll get them to curse you and possibly punch you in the face. They will be distanced from yiddishkite, not brought to tshuva. Again, “vlo tisa alav chet.” “Malbin panim berabim kshofech damim dami.”
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