The primary issue to me seems to be that many of us have melted into the culturally frum designation (was it Rabbi Berel Wein who said that the pickpockets in Warsaw were all Shomer Shabbos?…) and have forgotten that we are ALL bnei and bnos Melech.
That a culturally frum woman today can appear inappropriately and people cannot even fathom having this travesty pointed out to them, is so sad.
@GAW – the look that the OP was decrying sounds like a problem at least according to your explanation of hatznea leches.
I don’t know what the solution is but prayer might be one, and strengthening ourselves and our families in the knowledge of Hashem and appreciation of what it means to be mamleches kohanim v’goy kadosh, another.
edited