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Why it has to be done is another question entirely. My point is that there is such a thing as doing something without any personal gain whatsoever.
And your question about why you love that person is completely beside the point. Yes, coming to love a person is for personal reasons, but once you do love that person, you will do things completely for that person’s sake, even when they will never find out about it.
If you want to break that down psychologically or philosophically, you might want to say that when you love someone you stretched your identity to include the other person, and in this way you are doing it for gain. And when you do something that is ‘the right thing’, weather anyone noticed or not, is because of your identifying with ‘the cause.’ That indeed is the idea of the servant who serves without anticipating reward.