Dear syag,
i would love to answer you, except that the moderator would never let it through, and it won’t be the first time. I see though that you suffer from the previous-heavy-smoker-syndrome. You’ve seen the other side, and now the ultimate truth is yours and yours alone. Suffice it to say that I have a close relative who is a therapist in a super-chareidi neighborhood, and I know what goes on. I would never trade places with you, and thank G-d I once resisted an adolescent urge to do just that. I just pity the system that rants, raves, and beats its chest in haughty arrogance, but ultimately has nothing to show for it.