I think it would be a lot easier to make a system where everyone understands that posters are NOT always who they present themselves to be. If they act friendly to you, that does not make them friends, they are annonymous posters acting friendly. There is a difference.
I didn’t plan any play dates with anyone so I don’t really care whom they are in contrast with whom they claim to be, but there is what to be said for being an honest and kind person online as well as off. And attacks are intolerable regardless of whom they came from.
Think of it as a play with a bunch of actors, and when the curtain closes, go home. Don’t go backstage for a cast party.