Dear Popa Bar Abby (Advice Column)

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  • #603598

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    The quality of advice columns has sunk really low. So I decided to start my own! On this advice column, you can ask anything you want; about relationships, chinuch, life, whatever. I will share with you sage popa wisdom, and will even be nice.

    But first, I will share with you some of the bad advice I’ve been seeing.

    In Readers Digests’ “Ask Laskas”, someone asked that she rides a school shuttle, and every day an older woman boards and asks this girl specifically for her seat–every day. Laskas says to shut up and give her seat!

    In some random one called “Ask Amy”, I saw multiple horrible advice, but not for YWN.

    In some frum one, a guy asks that he has been to multiple frum therapists, and just now he went to a non-frum one. The non frum one was the first to ask him about his relationship with G-d. So he wants to know if that is an appropriate discussion for his therapy. The advice columnist says it is appropriate, and sort of leaves it at that.

    Blazes! That is precisely why you should only go to a frum therapist! Because frum people’s emotional issues are inextricably linked to their religion.

    So, ask what you will. I’ll be nice and sage.

    #1091860

    Feif Un
    Participant

    Excuse me, but I started the original advice column here. This is hasagas gvul, and you have no right to do this.

    #1091861

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Could you pose that as a question, please?

    (I mean, oops, sorry, I didn’t remember. Link to it)

    #1091862

    wanderingchana
    Participant

    How about Torah Jeopardy instead?

    #1091863

    Chulent
    Member

    Dear Popa,

    Should I eat Cheerios or Corn Flakes for breakfast?

    #1091864

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    How about torah jeapordy instead?

    That is a very good question. I would suggest both.

    #1091865

    kapusta
    Participant

    Nice job on the title.

    *kapusta*

    #1091866

    I need a serious aitza to help me stop biting my nails.

    #1091867

    @r‘KKW

    Agreed. Just cant COPE with my nails anymore!

    #1091868

    wanderingchana
    Participant

    I’m sorry, but you have to phrase your answer in the form of a question.

    #1091869

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Biting nails:

    Popa once needed to stop wasting time on the internet when he was working on the computer. So he said he would give 10 dollars to obamas campaign each time he did it. Try this for a few weeks.

    #1091870

    TheMusicMan
    Participant

    Are diversified polysyllabic meanderings of the grandiloquent form in direct contradiction with the eclectic prolixity apparent in entirely unverifiable (and heavily redundant) oxymorons which use excessive nomenclatural terminology?

    #1091872

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    TheMusicMan: I think you need to try HERE. ^_^

    #1091873

    Brilliant title!

    #1091874

    TheMusicMan
    Participant

    @oneofmany: You should see my post there!

    #1091875

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Why don’t we have cheesecake on Chanukah?

    #1091876

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Why don’t we have cheesecake on Chanukah?

    People often eat things when there is a yetzer hara to eat them. That is why people eat milchigs on shevuos, because you are obligated to eat meat, so they have a yetzer hara to not eat meat.

    On chanuka, however, there is no mitzva to eat meat specifically every day, so there is no yetzer hara to eat milchigs.

    #1091877

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    1.500 years ago someone sat on a bench in my garden and broke it. He never even apologized, let alone offered to pay for the bench. Can I take him to court?

    Sincerely,

    Reuven (or maybe Shimon)

    #1091878

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    1.500 years ago someone sat on a bench in my garden and broke it. He never even apologized, let alone offered to pay for the bench. Can I take him to court?

    Sincerely,

    Reuven (or maybe Shimon)

    Dear Reuven (or maybe Shimon),

    I’m sorry. But I’m still not paying; it was going to break anyway.

    Love,

    Popa Bar Abby

    #1091879

    Thank You!

    This is so much better than those other advice columns.

    #1091880

    ItcheSrulik
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    No, not that case. The one that the gemara says is pshita.

    Sincerely,

    Shimon (or Reuven)

    #1091881

    cinderella
    Member

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    There’s leftover cheesecake that I really want to eat. Should I? If yes, should I have the mocha or the Oreo one?

    Sincerely,

    Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn’t know if she should

    #1091882

    Razzle
    Member

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I sent an email to somone and they answered on shabbos should I still email them???

    #1091883

    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I can’t think of anything to ask. Help me.

    #1091884

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    There’s leftover cheesecake that I really want to eat. Should I? If yes, should I have the mocha or the Oreo one?

    Sincerely,

    Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn’t know if she should

    Dear Really wants to eat cheesecake but doesn’t know if she should,

    It is proper to eat leftovers from yontiff, because that way one will not cook to little for yontiff. You should eat both.

    However, if you are normal like me, and think that cheesecake is disgusting, then you should throw them both at your wife.

    #1091885

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I sent an email to somone and they answered on shabbos should I still email them???

    I would personally try to not email them right before shabbos anymore.

    #1091886

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa bar Abby,

    I can’t think of anything to ask. Help me.

    Dear Help Me,

    It sounds like you have no relationship problems. If so, it probably means you are being too careful, and not looking out for your interests enough. I would suggest spending an extra half hour at the bar each night before coming home.

    #1091887

    Dear Popa Bar Abba

    Why did you say something about someones wife when they clearly stated they were female?

    Sincerely

    Confused at Popa Bar Abby’s Ignorance

    #1091888

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abba

    Why did you say something about someones wife when they clearly stated they were female?

    Sincerely

    Confused at Popa Bar Abby’s Ignorance

    Dear Confused,

    The passuk calls the livyason a male, even though it really is a female, because it is more tznius. I do the same.

    #1091889

    cinderella
    Member

    Dear Popa Bar Abby,

    Your advice really worked!! I feel so fulfilled and accomplished now. I don’t know where I would be without your advice.

    Sincerely,

    Fat and Grateful

    P.S. Are you calling me a livyasan?

    #1091890

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear fat and grateful,

    Did you eat them, or throw them at your wife?

    P.S. Ummm, no comment?

    #1091891

    Chulent
    Member

    Dear Abby,

    Should I delay marriage while I pursue a higher education?

    #1091892

    cinderella
    Member

    Did you eat them, or throw them at your wife?

    Well, I don’t have a wife to throw it at so I just ate it. But I think you may need help if you don’t like cheesecake. Why don’t you write a letter to yourself?

    #1091893

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Abby,

    Should I delay marriage while I pursue a higher education?

    Dear afraid of marriage,

    Blazes no! If you are delaying marriage, you should do something fun meanwhile. Save the higher education for when you’re married anyway.

    I suggest being a ski bum in the winter, and a backpacking in the summer.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091894

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear doesn’t like cheesecake,

    Cheesecake is how we are mechaper for eating milchigs on yontiff. You should eat it specifically because it is disgusting.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

    #1091895

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Dear Abby,

    I think cheesecake is disgusting, and I want to take your advice and throw it at my wife. But I don’t have one. Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?

    Sincerely,

    a Livyoson

    #1091896

    Sam2
    Participant

    PBA: There’s no Chiyuv to eat meat on Yom Tov. It’s a B’feirush Rama in Hilchos Aninus (337 maybe?).

    #1091897

    squeak
    Participant

    Dear Bar Abby,

    What in the world was the point of being mattir internet use for business need, when we all know mitoch sh’hutra l’tzoirech, hutra nami sh’loi litzoirech? Do they think that just because we don’t get to sit on the dais we don’t know shas and poiskim?

    Sincerely,

    Logged Off Forever and Trying Not To Think

    #1091898

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Bar Abby,

    What in the world was the point of being mattir internet use for business need, when we all know mitoch sh’hutra l’tzoirech, hutra nami sh’loi litzoirech? Do they think that just because we don’t get to sit on the dais we don’t know shas and poiskim?

    Sincerely,

    Logged Off Forever and Trying Not To Think

    Dear Logged Off,

    They assumed that without access to google, we wouldn’t be able to find mareh mekomos anymore.

    #1091899

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I am still scratching my head to the question of why did the chicken cross the road. Please help fast

    Sincerely

    Stuck in a Pile of Dandruff

    #1091900

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I am still scratching my head to the question of why did the chicken cross the road. Please help fast

    Sincerely

    Stuck in a Pile of Dandruff

    Dear Stuck,

    You should bite your nails. That will help.

    #1091901

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    If I do so I will not take your nail biting advice.

    #1091902

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    If I do so I will not take your nail biting advice.

    I suggest biting the nails of one hand, and scratching with that hand.

    #1091904

    happym19
    Member

    Dear poppa bar abby,

    was my post deleted or did my computer not post it cuz its procrastinating?

    sincerely,

    confused ;)……..

    Dear happy, it was deleted. -95

    #1091905

    happym19
    Member

    k thanks sorry!

    #1091906

    oomis
    Participant

    Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?”

    Were you not in Shul on Sunday?

    #1091907

    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I wasn’t.

    #1091908

    gefen
    Participant

    Dear Bar Abby,

    It really bothers me when people say or write “yontiff”. IT’S YOM TOV – BLAZES – CAN’T ANYONE GET THAT RIGHT?

    Yes dearest bar abby – you are guilty of that too.(see one of your above posts)

    What can I do to get over this? Or rather what can I do to get everyone in the world to say/write it correctly? AHHHHHHH!

    No – I am not hysterical. I’m a very calm, cool, and collected person. 😉

    #1091909

    TheGoq
    Participant

    Dear Popa Bar Abby

    I have a coworker who is a very difficult person one of their faults is they don’t know how to express gratitude this morning they got a personal call and i transferred it to them and said who was calling they said yeah, yeah? i asked dont you mean thank you for answering your personal call, they refused to to say thank you and demanded i put the call through i said sorry and told the party that this coworker was unavailable. did i overreact? how would you handle such a coworker?

    Fed up in Sacramento

    #1091910

    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Dear Abby,

    I think cheesecake is disgusting, and I want to take your advice and throw it at my wife. But I don’t have one. Am I yotzeh if I just throw it at my mother?

    Sincerely,

    a Livyoson

    Dear Livyoson,

    The ikkar characteristic of a wife is that they do your laundry. Therefore, you should throw it at whomever does your laundry. If you do your own laundry, then you should throw it-and your laundry- at your roommate. If you have no roommates, you should throw both at your sister. If you have no sister, you should get married.

    Love,

    Popa bar Abby

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