“DY: I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of this issue.”
My rov has for as long as I’ve known him said that you must make an assessment of yourself at the time of the hand-shake, because al pi the rambam its subjective. So when you said I have a fundamental misunderstanding, I assumed you held that my position was not correct according to any poskim.
No biggy
Now, according to this approach, if someone feels that their taiva will overtake them, since its subjective and we are dealing with a yehareg veal yaavor, one must let the woman drown sooner than save her. Chas ve shalom anyone would lack that amount of self-control that he would need to let a woman drown rather than save her- but if so he is not a chassid shoteh. By definition, thats what a yehareg veal yaavor when viewed on a subjective level.