DY: Attempting to make someone feel bad for asking an honest Shailah (“How can you even think to ask a Shailah?”) is not exhorting someone to go Lifnim MiShuras HaDin. It’s a perversion of the Halachic process. I’m fine with attempting to explain why something might be more important than we may have otherwise realized. I’m fine with trying to stress how much something matters. That’s being honest. Disrupting a Halachic conversation is not and is what I called “OO”.
annon: Notice how going beyond the norm is now considered “every other day”. If we’re talking relative terms, the average American not showering for 10 days is probably someone in the time of the Shulchan Aruch not bathing for 10 weeks or more. Our circumstances are different and, in this very particular case, it has an impact on the Din. No one would dream of going all of Shloshim without showering, even though that’s Ikkar HaDin in a straight reading of Shulchan Aruch. Why don’t you use the same argument towards people in Shloshim? See how far that gets you.