Nothing Happens On Earth:
For the first time in, well, forever, nothing newsworthy has occured today. We interviewed reporters <insert name here> and <insert name here> to find out more about this strange phenomenon.
So, <first of the insert name heres>, what do you think is going on?
“Well, this is new, so even I’m kind of confused…”
Do you think this will happen again?
“We just have to wait and see, but my guess is no. This is a pure coincidence, and coincidences rarely happen twice.”
What does…(news report continues.)