Reply To: How do I get my purity back?

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the art of the moi:

I totally understand you, cuz I am a bais Yaakov girl who has been there too.

Firstly, keep looking forward and never look back. You feel remorse already so now its moving forward.

Now, I have never managed to completely erase the tummah from myself but it is possible to fill ourself with kedushah so that the images fade to the point where it takes up very little space.

I am saying this from my experience and this is what worked for me. Do what works for you but for me the process was two stepped:

1) Abstain! Stop cold turkey from the behavior. As long as you are continuing the old behavior, change and growing is impossible.

I had to put in filters, change my habits, anything to just stop.

The longer you stay “clean”, the more and more the tumah will fade.

2) Be active in putting more kedusha in your life. This does not mean saying tehillim 100 times a day. It helped me to go speak to a rav for chizuk in this area, listen to a shiur once a week… etc.

A rav once told me that either you are growing , or you are falling back. It is not enough just to abstain, but you need to make a active effort to grow.

I hope my perspective helps you.

Most importantly, do not beat yourself up about it. Move forward, be strong, you are already on the right track and hatzlacha!!