you are absolutely correct, and i thought i was pretty clear that i was not judging the boy. i was “judging” an adult who is accepting of the behavior. Our job is to refrain from ever judging a person and always to pt ourself in their shoes, but at the same time, we should not be lenient with the behaviors, our values or our expectations. My kids (and much moreso myself) are always messing up, making poor choices and acting inappropriately. I will never tell them, nor will they have the ignorance to think that bad behavior is okay because someone deserved it. it isn’t okay, and we brush ourselves off and shoot for a better outcome next time. But those behaviors need to be accepted for what they are, not brushed off because it was directed at someone who “deserved it”.
and as you yourself see, self righteously preaching sometimes has its place, tho there was no self righteousness involved.