MIR BACHUR: You don’t remember how you got them, they came with the dira. One gores the other three times and damages your friends shirt in the process.
BRISK BACHUR: You’re makdish one and then make a simcha when it gets a mum. The other is shechted and you’re still arguing over how to take ma’aser from the fleish.
LAKEWOOD BACHUR: The first cow has a baby. It now has to feed both the second cow and the baby on the alfalfa that it gets from government farm grants.
NER YISROEL BACHUR: You lock one up and make sure it stays kodesh until you find a bull, while the other heads out to pasture two nights a week.
TELSHE BACHUR: You really only have one cow, you just made the corral smaller to give the illusion of more cows.
CHAIM BERLIN BACHUR: They both die of emphysema.
LANDERS BACHUR: You send them both to a specialist who can train them to produce more milk.
YU BACHUR: They are better than all the other cows and you can explain why.