You have two cows

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of >four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.

A GERMAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows but you don’t know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A MEXICAN CORPORATION:

You think you have two cows, but you don’t know what a cow looks like. You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION:

You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them >for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

A TALIBAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan “countryside” and they >both die. You blame the godless American infidels and the Jews.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION:

You have two cows. You worship them.

ISRAELI CORPORATION: You have two cows. Palestian terrorists try to kill your cows and fail, getting badly gored in the process. They then claim that the cows were the aggressors

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE:

You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government

REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So?

DEMOCRACY – FLORIDA: You have a black cow and a brown cow. Everyone votes for the best looking one. Some of the people who like the brown one best vote for the black one. Some people vote for both. Some people vote for neither. Some people can’t figure out how to vote at all. Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best looking one.

LIBERTARIANISM: Go away. What I do with my cows is none of your business.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be “throwing their vote away.”

CAPITALISM – SWEDISH: You have two cows. You bought them from IKEA and assembled them yourself (it was cheaper). The Volvo cows last a lot longer but don’t look as trendy.

CAPITALISM – JAPANESE: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains. Almost all graduated in the top 10 percent of their class.