Joseph
your opening line, indicates that like many news outlets you misunderstood the IARC.
In no way is processed meat as dangerous as tobacco. The only comparison is that both are now classified as “causing cancer” (along with alcohol, asbestos among others).
they did not comment on how much risk is associated w/ processed meat.
for example while 19% of all cancers are believed to be caused by tobacco, only 3% are believed to be caused by red meat (processed + unprocessed).
If no one in the UK smoked there would be 64,500 fewer cancers yearly, but only 8,800 fewer if no one ate processed or red meat.
Thus “Should the Gedolim ban processed meat along with tobacco?”
whther you meant it seriously or not, is simply silly.