I find the title of this thread quite disturbing, which is why I decided to read through it even though it mentioned that horrible word of shidduchim.
I semi-agree with ironpenguin on one thing. “Girls are shallow, but so is the society we live in.” You can’t expect girls who were brought up in a Bais Yaakov system that preaches “perfect boy=learner” to give up their idealistic dreams of a perfect marriage.
However, in regard to the OP and FriendInFlatbush’s question: I definitely consider someone who sets aside time to learn and is serious about his avodas Hashem as someone I would date and potentially marry. As a product of a Bais Yaakov school, I understand that a home must be built on Torah, however I disagree (and always have, much to the chagrin of my teachers) that this does not mean a husband has to be in kollel full time. Personally, someone who was brought up properly, is well-grounded, and knows where he is going in life is a lot better then someone who is sitting around in yeshiva just because he must.