Lior – please understand that what you are saying is something that can cause harm to a baby. And yes, there are MANY studies that prove there is great emotional harm to a baby. Throughout the baby’s waking day, there should be physical contact between the baby and other people IN ADDITION to the very crucial feeding contact, whether by breast or bottle. BABIES NEED PHYSICAL CONTACT in constant real time, which is probably why Hashem created women to nurse babies, in order to ensure they would get that contact. That does not mean they don’t need contact throughout the day BESIDES the feeding. Also, the position in which they lie while feeding, helps keep the eustachean tubes in the ears open, so they don’t get fluid as readily as when they either lie flat or are propped and drinking. The nursing position is unique in its perfection, so a baby being bottle fed should be held exactly like that. Hashem knew what he was doing.
Syag – spot on about the dangers of drowning, especially when the baby cannot move its mouth off the bottle (and if it COULD, then what possible purpose would there be to propping it, if one would have to keep putting it back in the baby’s mouth?).
In orphanages where newborn babies (unfortunately out of necessity due to the small ratio of available caretakers to large numbers of infants) were not held much of the day, the babies often failed to thrive. While nursing is best for most babies, bottle feeding can accomplish much, if not all, of the same good ends, if the baby is held in a nursing position while being bottle fed. The warmth of a human hand on the baby, cuddled up against its caregiver, stimulates crucial physical AND emotional growth developmental signals in that baby.
And Frumguy. you mean well, but not every woman is cut out to nurse a baby, and not every woman is physically capable, and they should not be made to feel by anyone, that they are failures or lazy, or anything negative. I myself was unable to do so for my first two children, though I gave it a very valiant effort (to their detriment) for weeks. B”H I came to realize I had to let go of my bruised feminine ego and give a bottle, and my two eldest children did fine on formula. With my last three, B”H I was successful at establishing a fantastic nursing routine, and did so with great joy for a long time. Not every mom, even the most dedicated, loving one, is able to succeed in this particular area. Don’t blame them. I know you don’t, and that you are referring to a small group of women (yes, there are some).
If one does not wish to nurse, that is entirely her decision. It is a very personal one, sometimes even a painful one. But it is wise NOT to find ways to legitimize doing something that is mamesh harmful to a helpless infant, like propping a bottle. it is not ok. It is simply NOT ok. Hire a babysitter to feed the baby, if one is overwhelmed. Let Bubby and Zaydy help, if possible, and Dad should be pitching in as well. But a baby should not suffer in the process.
I am sorry for the rant, but this is another one of those issues about which I have such strong feelings (like mother’s working outside the home fulltime, when they have their small children being raised by nannies), that I tend to get on the soap box about it. I don’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings. if I did, I apologize.