apy: I’d like to think it’s not. If it’s a problem for shidduchim, it’s the same type of problem as any- it’s hard for many girls, whether they went to sem or not. Nobody pretends it’s a cure-all for such things to go to sem. As far as societal pressure- I didn’t have a lot of things I wanted when I was a kid. If my parents hadn’t been so pro-sem, who knows if I would have done that either. I know girls who weren’t able to go to sem for financial reasons, family reasons… everyone has different circumstances, and people are a lot more open, understanding and reasonable in person than they’re given credit for. My sister’s not going (she simply doesn’t want to) and while she gets some annoying comments from people saying things like “you should totally go to where I went!” people by and large don’t say boo.
wannnabegood: Some sems do brainwash. I’m not even sure whether that’s a bad thing or not, but it’s definitely true, as I know from going to a sem which is known for not being a brainwashing-type sem where girls still came home that way. It’s an environment where girls are isolated from their families and very open to new ideas- it’s the perfect environment for that sort of thing, and the teachers take full advantage (as many of them, from various schools for both men and women) admitted to me.