Shopping, I don’t know where you live, but I live probably not too far from you in EY and the only boys I see who carry on the way you describe are below Bar Mitzvah or the ones not chareidi. Even in Yerushalayim, it’s not rowdy the way you describe, most people are going about their business in a normal way. On buses, when there are groups of teenagers, things can get a little loud, but again it depends on what kind of crowd you’re talking about.
I would suggest you give your friend a little slack. Just because you don’t understand or agree with her desire to act more like a bas melech (even if not penima), what does it hurt you? If you feel that it makes you look bad or makes you feel like you should be doing it also, then analyze within yourself of whom you’re jealous – her for trying to rise to a higher level or the crowds you speak about who are basically acting like little kids. The older and more mature we get, the less we should be acting like that. Think of royalty in England or other places in Europe. You won’t see even the little princes and princesses over there acting wild. Just a thought.