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I felt very lucky – when I was in aveilut, there were a few others with a chiyuv as well – we just divided it all up, taking turns. No machloket at all.
One funny thing that happened: I came in for Arvit one night, and someone else got up and davened for the amud. It was no big deal; I figured he had a yahrzeit. After we finished davening, he came over and apologized to me for taking the amud; he said he hadn’t seen me when davening started. Then someone else came over, and apologized for not stopping the first man from davening. When I walked outside, two others came over and also apologized.