Wolf: As i’m sure you well know you anyone deserving of being paid for a service is free to be moichel what is rightfully coming to them.
Even if that’s universally true (which I’m not ready to concede is the case), that doesn’t change the fact that posters here have made the case that shadchanus money is important and that not giving it can adversely affect the marriage. As such, I suppose that I am (at least partly) responsible for the divorce of my friend* because of my refusal to accept shadchanus. Causing a divorce, I’m certain, is a grave sin.
The Wolf
* Although they did get three kids out of the marriage, so it wasn’t a total loss.