To address your second point, the wording is flexible. If you can say it in Yiddish, you can say it in lashon nekevah. I’ve heard of people saying “gevirosai/gevirotai nevarech”- and after that there are no dikduk issues that I can think of.
I don’t personally do it because I’m just not accustomed, but I know people who do it this way. Definitely yesh al mi lismoch for women to do it.
As far as the man’s job thing, women can make kiddush and havdalah as well- depending on the case, sometimes with an absolutely equal chiyuv to that of men which would mean that there is no reason for the man to davka be yotze the woman.