HaQer, what you are saying I absolutely agree with. The stigma should be removed; or more specifically, the boys should not think that it is a ma’aleh to go out with someone younger than him over someone his age. This is not manipulative or wrong in any way. And from what I hear, things are moving nicely in this respect. The only hang-up is that some boys who are new to shidduchim might prefer to go out with girls who are new to shidduchim, but relative age should not matter as long as it is close.
As long as this is the agenda I am with you. All else being equal, a boy should not favor a girl just because she is younger. So let’s do away with that stigma. But don’t start threatening the world that if they don’t “eliminate the age gap” it will lead to “a complete and utter meltdown of the shidduch system as we know it”. That’s when I will fight back.
We should do this because the stigma is wrong, not because not doing so will destroy the world. Capish?