IMO, more shidduchim would be taking place if the ENTIRE shidduch system as we know it today, would be scrapped. it has created its own Frankenstein’s Monster, and brought about the so-called crisis. The intense checking done on both sides, the going through the shadchan and not allowing young men and women to be young MEN and WOMEN by dealing with the dates on their own, has been very detrimental. And no one here or elsewhere will ever convince me that this is not so. Kids are being thrust into the adult world of preparing for mariage, but are not allowed to treat the process as adults. If a boy cannot call a girl to arrange a date, what makes you think he will ever be able to have a conversation with a female? If a girl is afraid to tell a boy directly that she does not want to see him again, then she is too immature to face MANY of life’s unpleasant moments. I have observed to much immaturity, too much interference by parents for the wrong reasons, and too little seichel in arranging for our young people to meet people of the opposite sex in a natural and healthy way. And all the segulahs in the world are not going to change what I have just stated. (Off my soapbox for now)…
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