Oomis, I take what you have to say seriously but I like the shidduch system. Maybe the shadchan shouldn’t be as directly involved for as long but I think it’s a good thing.
Re Joseph. I don’t get what you’re saying.
My point is, that the girls are now thinking, not a bad thing to be older, I can be more of a person, more qualified in the workplace etc. Isn’t this why the frum olam railed against women’s lib? Now we’re creating these women in the name of supporting our boys. I’m not saying this, read letters in a well-known weekly.
Do you mean that the longer the girls wait the less they’re worth the investment? I mean that the boys are less worth the investment. Believe me, I value learning tremendously but the boys have to be able to present themselves as something beyond, I am boy, hear and support me learn.
By infantilization I’m referring to the intensive parental involvement that does not lend itself to shalom bayis and a healthy level of independence, especially financial. I don’t see how boys getting married younger avoids this.