Reply To: Shidduch Segullah!

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To AZ: OK, I understand you know there are yeshivos beyond BMG. But all the suggestions by a prominent pro-age-engineering organization are geared to the yeshiva guys who go to Israel and then back home for shidduchim. These guys are NOT so well represented on sawyouatsinai, etc.

I think the suggestions are a recipe for disaster. I was determined to hold my tongue till I actually spoke to someone with the organization. But having boys start dating younger? Only going to E”Y AFTER marriage? On whose dime?

We have to encourage independence after marriage. If the safety net is taken away, where are we leaving our kids? Yes, tragically (happened to me) parents die before their kids are on their own, and the kids don’t have the guidance and safety net of a parent at that stage. Hashem steps in for His orphaned kids. We can’t ask for miracles when setting up our kids’ batei neeman.

Oh, and by discouraging boys from learning more than a year in E”Y before marriage: what if they were learning so well in chutz la’aretz that they put off E”Y till 22-23, and what if they are blossoming so so that they need more than a year? What are we doing to this generation’s growth in Torah learning? It has to be more organic, more in sync with what the yachid needs.

Sorry if I’m rambling a bit but I am just so frosted!!!