Joseph, I’m not sure if you’re deliberately being dense, or deliberately playing games with Mrs Plony (eishes HaRav Plony). She was just trying to point out to you that although many ladies are fortunate to have a husband, and of those many are actually fortunate to have a husband who can learn and is well versed in Halacha, there are others not so fortunate. (And don’t start with, ‘then she should go to her father or her older brother…’ There are women who don’t have a man to turn to.)
Why not just suggest that Shaylos be directed to one’s Rav? No hurt feelings, and not bad advice in any case.
As for zogt-b, thank you for quoting the Re”ma. Of course we ladies should know a thing or two ourselves. I hope my Rav doesn’t stop to wonder at my ignorance when I inquire about something that I should have known on my own.