Why do women like flowers?

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  • #616032
    Joseph
    Participant

    If you gave a man flowers he’d probably thing you’re crazy.

    #1151312
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Men like flowers too, it’s just that our current gender rules state that flowers are a gift to a woman. Flowers are pretty and smell nice and the fact that they don’t last long means that the person who gave them can give the same thing again.

    #1151313
    DikDukDuck
    Participant

    Who doesn’t like flowers, I do and I am not women.

    #1151314
    modeh ani
    Member

    lemay nafka mina

    #1151315
    Joseph
    Participant

    Would any of you men appreciate it if your chavrusa bought you flowers every few weeks?

    RY23: It’s been like this between women and flowers far longer than just current rules.

    #1151316
    charliehall
    Participant

    I like flowers! I belong to the New York Botanical Garden and visit there often. And I’m not female.

    #1151317
    yytz
    Participant

    Pesachim 109 and elsewhere: Men and women rejoice over different things–Men have simcha with meat and wine, while women rejoice over clothing (colored clothing for women in Bavel).

    Similarly, Rambam rules that one should give women jewelry and clothes for Yom Tov, since this is what gives them simcha.

    There seems to be something in human nature which makes women, more than men, like beautiful clothing and other nice-looking objects (flowers, decorations in the house).

    #1151318
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Joseph, yes. It beautifies the Shabbos table, and such a gesture would be appreciated.

    #1151319
    Joseph
    Participant

    I’m bringing you flowers every Erev Shabbos before we leave Yeshiva, DaasYochid.

    #1151320
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Much appreciated.

    #1151321
    sushibagel
    Member

    Try understand people who come from Venus!

    #1151322
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I like flowers, and I’m not a woman.

    My wife also buys me flowers on occasion too (although she usually does this with the intent of me photographing them as I enjoy floral photography).

    The Wolf

    #1151323
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    No, CharlieHall, You DON’T belong to the New York Botanical Garden. Hopefully.

    And yes, I too love flowers, esp. a colorful, gay cheerful arrangement.

    #1151324
    Joseph
    Participant

    Okay, we heard a boatload of flower-loving men. We fully accept that.

    Now let’s hear why women like flowers. Or are we saying that there are no general differences between men and women enjoying flowers?

    Otherwise, why are women associated with flowers much more than men – i.e. flowers being a common gift from husband to wife but not so common from wife to husband?

    #1151325
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    1. Women are supposed to like pretty things. Men are supposed to like useful things.

    2. Flowers beautify the home, which is very important to many women.

    3. The first two make flowers seem girly to some men so a gift of flowers would insult them.

    #1151326
    Joseph
    Participant

    I like that teretz, RY23; the first tzum zach.

    For that you’re getting a bouquet of flowers for Shabbos.

    #1151327
    randomkid17
    Member

    Not all women like flowers. Personally i hate them

    #1151328
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Hating flowers is bad. They have done nothing wrong.

    #1151330
    Shii
    Member

    I think that as a general rule it doesn’t really matter what the gift is, it matters what the thought behind it is. It happens to be that has become a common practice for flowers to be given to a woman because they appreciate the smell and the presentation.

    #1151331
    yungerman123
    Participant

    Women like flowers because they are a gift of something which basically has no intrinsic value to her husband and is therefore a gesture of his love for her. Since flowers have no use, they are purely and completely a gift of love. Clothing or a new dish are something he has to provide and it has a purpose, but flowers in their non-functionality can only be a token of love or appreciation.

    #1151332
    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    I think that cut flowers are pathetic. For 24 – 36 hours they look pretty, but then they start to wither and wilt and smell bad.

    #1151333
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Some flowers can last up to 2 weeks cut.

    #1151334
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    I like flowers, but only when my husband buys them 🙂

    Everyone who posted in this thread is the exception that proves the rule. Most women like flowers and jewelry. Most men prefer beer or a smoker or scotch.

    #1151335
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    Joseph, the flowers were stunning. How’d you know my favorite color is fuchsia?

    T613, how does an exception prove a rule? Wouldn’t a rule be stronger if there were no exceptions?

    #1151337
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    It’s like the Sanhedrin that couldn’t execute a person if every single 71 of the people agreed they are guilty, because if every person sees something the same way, there is something suspicious going on.

    #1151338
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    T613, how does an exception prove a rule? Wouldn’t a rule be stronger if there were no exceptions?

    A common misunderstanding.

    The way we use the word “prove” today would mean that when you finally find an exception, then you know the rule is true. Of course, that’s logically inconsistent because, if you find an exception, then the rule is not a rule. So how did this phrase originate?

    The answer is that when the phrase was coined, “prove” had a different meaning. “Prove” meant “to test.” So to “prove a rule” actually meant to test it. You would use an exception to try to test whether or not the rule was true.

    The Wolf

    #1151339
    Joseph
    Participant

    Joseph, the flowers were stunning. How’d you know my favorite color is fuchsia?

    The same way apushatayid (jphone) pointed out my understanding of squeak:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/should-the-cr-have-sports-threads/page/3#post-31474

    #1151340
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    I heard that finding a written exception proves that there exists a rule to which that is an exception.

    #1151341
    SayIDidIt™
    Participant
    #1151342
    writersoul
    Member

    I like pictures of flowers and seeing flowers in the wild and in parks. I don’t like bouquets- they’re messy and make my nose itch and smell overpowering.

    I think that fake flowers can be good for decorating.

    I like a lot of things better than flowers. I look at all those engagement pictures with girls holding bouquets of roses and just imagine being forced to inhale all that pollen.

    #1151343
    Joseph
    Participant

    writersoul: For your engagement and wedding, we will advise your future chosson make sure to forgo all floral arrangements and, rather, plaster nice pictures alongside faux flowers.

    #1151344
    sushibagel
    Member

    So far all female posters have said they disklike flowers on the other hand we’ve had a few male posters saying they do like flowers.

    Gevald! What’s the world coming to?

    #1151345
    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    writersoul, that’s my point exactly!

    Did you ever walk past a blooming rose bush and take a deep breath? Ahhhhh…Borei Atzai Besamim! (With lots of kavana.)

    But did you ever smell long-stem roses from a florist? They smell like chemicals and grass.

    #1151346
    DC MUTU
    Member

    mrs plony please remember that atzei besomim is not applicable to every smell. There are in fact 5 brochos. Ask your husband for more info.

    #1151347
    Wisey
    Participant

    I once bought the cheapest (but nice) flowers in the store for my host. After shabbos the baal habayis said to me, “Those were beautiful flowers. How did you know which ones to choose? Those are the ones I buy for my wife every shabbos!”

    (Since he said it seriously I think that he must have made a mistake)

    #1151348
    Joseph
    Participant

    Wisey: He may have been just trying to be nice and gracious. He’d could said that about anything, with the same serious expression, even if you plucked a few flowers from your garden to give him.

    #1151349
    shuli
    Participant

    Yungerman123 explained it well. Women in general don’t necessarily appreciate a gift itself, they appreciate the thought behind it. And because flowers typically don’t DO anything, it shows *just* the thought behind it. And that’s what makes flowers a nice gift. It helps that they look beautiful and smell good.

    #1151350
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It helps that they look beautiful and smell good.

    So it’s slightly preferable to give flowers rather than a rock, which also doesn’t do anything.

    #1151351
    golfer
    Participant

    DY, if you are going to give your wife a rock, it had better be very very shiny and sparkly and ensconced in a precious metal such as gold or platinum.

    As for me, I love getting flowers!

    #1151352
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Some women are geologists who would love almost any rock.

    #1151353
    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    DC MUTU, you make me angry! I have seen plenty of people making the point that halacha is not always simple and straightforward, but the appropriate closing is “Ask your rabbi” or “Ask your LOR” (with LOR an acronym for ‘local orthodox rabbi’). But “ask your husband’?!?! What if I was ch”v widowed or divorced? What if my screen name didn’t make it obvious that I was married? Suppose it was Little Froggie or RebYidd23 who mentioned making Borei Atzai Besamim on rose bushes? Oh, hey, since they’re men they obviously know all halachas inside and out, so there would be no need to tell them to double check. (Sarcasm.) (On the other hand, I only know them through the CR. Maybe they do know all of SHAS and Shulchan Oruch. Go know.)

    I hope I’ve raised your consciousness.

    #1151354
    thethinkingjew
    Participant

    ATT HUSBANDS AND HUSBANDS TO BE:women like flowers from their husbands because it means that they are being thought about.

    it helps with building relationships.

    #1151355
    Little Froggie
    Participant

    Rebbetzin Plony:

    So sorry. I DON’T know the ANY halachos, either inside or out, neither top side up nor bottom side down.

    I’ll ask Frogette..

    #1151356
    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    Little Froggie, there’s no need to apologize. There’s a need for DC MUTU to apologize. I’m waiting.

    #1151357

    Mrs. Plony: I’m not sure anything he said was apology worthy but even if it was, he won’t be back.

    #1151358
    MRS PLONY
    Participant

    Oops. Was that my fault? I just took offense at the “ask your husband” part.

    As it just so happens, my husband IS Rabbi Plony, but DC had no way of knowing that. The idea that any random male is more knowledgeable than any random female is insulting to knowledgeable females.

    #1151359
    Joseph
    Participant

    Advising a wife (or children) to ask the husband about a halachic or hashkafic issue shouldn’t be any more insulting to females than advising to ask your rabbi. A husband is the halachic authority in the home. That is part of the normal duties of a husband/father. His wife should be consulting him on halachic questions. If a rabbi needs to be consulted, it is part of his responsibilities to make that inquiry.

    #1151360
    zogt_besser
    Participant

    Depends what you mean by halachic authority. While the wife has to follow her husband’s minhagim (igros moshe orach chaim 1:158), if she has a shailah about halacha- *as opposed to minhag*- then she should ask a rav. Her husband has no ability to pasken a shailah for her (unless he is a talmid chacham), other than when it comes to clarifying his own family’s minhagim.

    Besides, on a basic issue like berachos, women should know the halachos anyway (per the rema in yoreh deah 246:6

    ??”? ????? ???? ????? ????? ??????? ????).

    #1151361
    Joseph
    Participant

    A husband is a rebbe to his wife and children.

    #1151362
    golfer
    Participant

    Joseph, I’m not sure if you’re deliberately being dense, or deliberately playing games with Mrs Plony (eishes HaRav Plony). She was just trying to point out to you that although many ladies are fortunate to have a husband, and of those many are actually fortunate to have a husband who can learn and is well versed in Halacha, there are others not so fortunate. (And don’t start with, ‘then she should go to her father or her older brother…’ There are women who don’t have a man to turn to.)

    Why not just suggest that Shaylos be directed to one’s Rav? No hurt feelings, and not bad advice in any case.

    As for zogt-b, thank you for quoting the Re”ma. Of course we ladies should know a thing or two ourselves. I hope my Rav doesn’t stop to wonder at my ignorance when I inquire about something that I should have known on my own.

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