OK, so I guess we’ll have to use DY’s line (to dissect.. for those who obviously didn’t chap) “the Rabbi said I can shake your hand. You’re unattractive”
Let me just relate a story I read in Rav Moshe’s Haggadah:
A man was to have an interview regarding a position for employment. It was during sefira, he asked Rav Moshe ztz”l if he could be lenient and shave because it was apparently unkempt, unbecoming etc. Reb Moshe could not permit it, he gave a bracha that regardless, even without shaving, he should have hatzlacha. (Yeah, I know others here will complain he’s overstepping… Dass Torah…!!! but that’s the story)
At the last moment this individual caved in and shaved to make his appearance becoming. He had his interview and all seemed well. Then this non-Jew asked him why he shaved when he’d interviewed other Jews and noticed they didn’t shave. He had a hard time explaining. At the end the boss told him if he’s so ready to do away with his standards, convictions, ideals, who’s to say he’d be trustworthy enough working for him. Rejected. <End of Story>
Moral of the story. Everyone can tell, even non-Jews, when one is ‘bending’ it a bit. And it doesn’t do too much kavod. When one stand up to one’s convictions, moral standards, he/she is admired and held in esteem.