Reply To: Pre-Martial advice (for choosanim and kallahs)

Another important thing that’s extremely important i think, and this is mainly for the parents, is to make sure to know your child which unfortunately nowadays many don’t. Don’t fool yourself, if your child is not a frummy, then don’t send him to that kind of rebbe/teacher, even if that’s what you want your child to be. Such a thing doesn’t help the chosson/kallah at all. First of all they are not on the same page as the person teaching them, so they don’t get good clear hadracha according to their level and even worse it leaves them with no person to turn to after the wedding if there’s something to discuss, since their rebbe/teacher is from ‘a different world’ and they don’t feel comfortable with him. If a chosson/kallah feel that their teacher is not good/not on the same page etc, do yourself and your future spouse a favor and go tell your parents that t you want/have to change (you can ask some married friends who they went to). If you’re too uncomfortable to do that, then find a sibling/family friend you can speak to and let them speak to the parents. DON’T IGNORE IT!!!