I am a BT too. I loved rav falks sefer. Please do not let anyone warp your image of him, he is a huge gadol and his sefer is so helpful and something I try to emulate. I was told it is out of print but try amazon.
Get in touch with gila manolson, her email is floating around somewhere.
May I ask how old you are? Have you thought of going to Neve for a semester?
Get in touch with a Rebbetzin ASAP. I wish the admins would let me give you my email so we could talk there. Hatzlacha with everything