Women & Tznius

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  • #617981
    Colors11
    Member

    I am BT and am really diving into Tznius. I was wondering if I can get any pointers, advice, good websites, and the like. I have bout several shells to go under my lower cut secular clothing (that I used to wear) . I have pretty much quit wearing pants all together, except these really comfy & loose palazzo pants. I am single so I do not cover my hair. I wear ankle length skirts

    I am still learning, What do you wear when you go on a hike? Swimming? to an amusement park? I would love to hear advice from women who have been doing this all their life ๐Ÿ™‚

    #1159533

    Hey I can recommend two books for u to read

    1. Oz vehudar by rabbi Falk

    2.daughters of dignity

    Both are Amazing I would recommend first the daughters of dignity book it brings out so many beautiful stories for each halacha

    #1159534
    Joseph
    Participant

    HaRav Pesach Eliyahu Falk shlit”a has an invaluable sefer that covers all areas you are asking about. Literally A to Z. It is available on Amazon as well as most seforim/Judaica stores.

    It’s title is – Modesty: An Adornment for Life

    They give them out in most Beis Yaakov schools and learn from it as the complete reference. There is nothing else comparable that is nearly as comprehensive.

    #1159535
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Don’t read either of those books.

    #1159537
    I. M. Shluffin
    Participant

    Hey, good for you, Colors! Tznius is one of the most beautiful mitzvos we have, but it can be difficult at first, so it’s really inspiring that you’re starting the journey! As far as swimwear and active wear goes, there is a wide availability of modest attire. I would suggest checking out sites such as modli. The fully-covering dresses/shirts&skirts are made of bathing suit material so they’re super comfy and versatile, and they dry quickly (somewhat pricey).

    Gila Manolson has a book on tznius called “Outside/Inside” that I would recommend.

    Hatzlacha! Don’t be afraid to keep asking questions! We all do it ๐Ÿ˜‰

    #1159538
    kapusta
    Participant

    Are you in contact with a rebbetzin/mentor? So much of tznius is sensitivities in addition to the actual Halacha part, so that would probably be the best option. That said, I did not read the Gila Manolson book mentioned above, but from what I’ve read of hers, that would probably be a good place to start too.

    #1159539
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    I would love to hear advice from women who have been doing this all their life ๐Ÿ™‚

    Honestly, you are in the wrong place. Go to Imamother.com. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Seriously, find a rebbitzen with whom you are comfortable discussing these issues. Don’t do it on a forum where you have no idea if the advice is any good for your situation.

    #1159540
    crazykanoiy
    Participant

    Do NOT read Oz Vehadar Levushah. Find yourself a Rebbetzin or mentor that you are comfortable with.

    #1159541
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    Honestly, you are in the wrong place. Go to Imamother.com. ๐Ÿ™‚

    If she’s single, she cannot join Imamother.

    From their front page:

    Welcome! Imamother is a warm community of married and once married frum Jewish women.

    The Wolf

    #1159542
    Goldilocks
    Participant

    I’ve read Oz Vehadar Levushah, and I would highly recommend it. It’s well written, interesting and extremely informative.

    #1159543

    I tried to get in to ImaMother, big sisters that are like mother don’t count.

    @Colors11-kudos for you! When you go out hiking or to amusment parks I ussually just wear comfortable baggy clothing. They make shirts and skirts out of bathing suit material that are wonderful for water hikes.

    Tzniyus is not really nessesary in an area only for women so most women go to pools or beaches that have women only hours. Everyone is on their own level (self respect wise) so some will wear nothing at all (I’m serious about that one..it’s quite disturbing), while others will wear dresses. But that has nothing to do with tniyus. Around your mother, father, sisters, brothers, you can wear not tzniyus clothing but not like..go naked if you know what I mean.

    #1159544

    Tzniyus is not really nessesary in an area only for women so most women go to pools or beaches that have women only hours

    mazel tov! When did you get smicha?

    #1159546
    emunah18
    Participant

    I am a BT too. I loved rav falks sefer. Please do not let anyone warp your image of him, he is a huge gadol and his sefer is so helpful and something I try to emulate. I was told it is out of print but try amazon.

    Get in touch with gila manolson, her email is floating around somewhere.

    May I ask how old you are? Have you thought of going to Neve for a semester?

    Get in touch with a Rebbetzin ASAP. I wish the admins would let me give you my email so we could talk there. Hatzlacha with everything

    #1159547
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    If she’s single, she cannot join Imamother.

    From their front page:

    Welcome! Imamother is a warm community of married and once married frum Jewish women.

    The Wolf

    Never been, didn’t know. Thanks.

    #1159548
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Halichos bas Yisroel by Rav Yackov Yitzchak Fuchs. It is not a sefer specifically on halachos of tzniyus, rather a sefer of halachos as they pertain to women, including tefilla, hadlakos neiros and of course a number of chapters dedicated to the halachos of tzniyus. It comes in 2 volumes, I believe volume 2 contains the halachos of tzniyus.

    #1159549

    coffee addict. What I wrote is based on talks I’ve had with rabanim, rebitzins, and teachers.

    #1159550
    allusernamestaken
    Participant

    Colors11:

    Many women wear leggings with a flared or otherwise stretchy skirt for such activities.

    I would recommend reading Rabbi Yehuda Henkin’s Understanding Tzniut (which explains why Rabbi Falk’s Oz VeHadar Levhusha is extreme).

    #1159551
    Joseph
    Participant

    aunt: I wouldn’t recommend paying attention to that RYH’s opinions. It is he who is extreme as well as dubious. See:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/al-tarbe-sicha-im-haisha/page/4#post-144097

    #1159552
    Sam2
    Participant

    Joseph: R’ Yehudah Hertzl is a Gaon and a major Talmid Chacham with a Haskamah from R’ Menasheh Klein (yeah, that shocked me too). We might not hold by him on a lot of things, but he is well-thought-out and explains his Shittos very well.

    #1159553
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Actually, Joseph, it’s your opinion that should be ignored. On what basis do you insult a Rav and call his sefer dubious?

    #1159554
    Joseph
    Participant

    I haven’t seen either of the two of you jumping in to defend the kavod of HaRav Pesach Eliyahu Falk shlita, whose a far bigger talmid chochom, when his kavod was disparaged several times above.

    #1159555
    Sam2
    Participant

    Joseph: R’ Falk is also a Gaon and a major Talmid Chacham. I didn’t see any personal attacks on him. I saw an attack on his Sefer. There is a claim, in much of the Yeshivish world as well, that his Sefarim on Tznius are meant for a community like Gateshead and are not Halachah L’Ma’aseh for everyone. Either way, I very much agree with the sentiment that the Sefer should not be used by a Ba’alas Teshuvah. Maybe someday someone who already understands and follows Tznius well can move towards it, but it is just not good advice practically for someone to start with it.

    #1159556
    apushatayid
    Participant

    IMHO, it is not good advice for anyone to learn anything from a “how to” book, no matter how great the author. Better advice would be, find yourself a Rebbetzin and learn from her.

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