AYC: What a moving letter. Sorry, I have no experience with this (baruch Hashem), and I can’t really offer my advice to you. I just want to say that I had you in mind on Rosh Hashana, and hope and pray that moshiach should come and we should be zoche to see techias hameisim.
Maybe you can write her a letter. Just write it all out. It helps me a lot when I have a lot on my mind and I can’t say anything to that person. (When you’re done, post it on the ‘Unsent Letters’ thread;))
May Hashem grant you the kochos to overcome this challenge and continue being a source of chizuk to others in here.
Hatzlacha rabba.