I live my life,
aspiring,
striving to be,
to achieve,
what others have done.
but,
I focus on the wrong ones,
zoom in on them,
examine every minute detail,
peer at their faces,
check their status,
I’m on a treadmill that doesn’t end,
goes on and on,
I’m chasing and chasing,
huffing,
puffing,
trying to keep up with the johnses,
trying to catch up with the stars,
celebrities,
singers.
Yes, these are the wrong people to chase.
But I’m jealous,
so envious,
of their popularity,
romance,
adventure.
I’ve lost my emunah,
begged hashem to save it,
he seemed just not to care,
my request he did omit.
I wanted to believe,
to love and to connect,
but it seems to have been lost,
my relationship a reflect.
I pleaded with Him daily,
to keep the emotion going,
of emunah and of closeness,
but the feelings just stopped flowing.
I did my share,
I did my part,
I did all I could,
to keep Him in my heart.
The rest is HIS.