Some humorous one liners
A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of
Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.
Double your drive space. Delete Windows
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
I used to have a handle on life, and then it broke.
Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.
There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.